Tolerance
tol'er-ance (noun)~1. a being tolerant of others beliefs, practices etc. 2. to allow and respect others beliefs, practices etc without sharing them 3. to put up with
Webster's New World Dictionary (c) 1979
It came to my attention a few years ago, through a friend (I'll call Sara) that her neighbours (whom I will call the Evans) had stopped talking to them except very occasionally. When the Evans first moved in, they talked to Sara and her family everyday and visited regularly. She thought this change in attitude, therefore, a little peculiar and tried to figure out what she or her husband could have possibly said or done to make the Evans avoid them. Sara is one of those people that get along with most everyone without any problem.
Upon going over the matter in her head, she began to realize that they really hadn't talked to them much since the last halloween had passed. So what did she do on halloween that could have offended them? A few things were soon confirmed to her, by some of her other neighbours. That particular halloween was the first halloween for the Evans family in their new neighbourhood.
Each halloween, my friend Sara and her family decorate their home with all kinds of weird and wonderful things and sounds, for the enjoyment of the neighbouring children. She and her daughter do quite a job, let me tell you. The children that come to Sara's door just love it. After all, it's a night for them to go out and see the decorations, soak up the ambiance and more importantly, collect candy! There are some children in our area and hers that do not go out on halloween because their various religions or their parent's safety issues do not allow it. I can certainly understand this and of course there are other things that parent's can do to entertain their children on this particular night. Not every one does halloween or Christmas or Easter for that matter. In our home we do both the Christian holidays, the Jewish holidays, as well as practice native ceremonies. We are a very integrated family, mind you.
Sara celebrates the Christian holidays with her family, but in fact she is a Wiccan. Now just to educate those who think "oh my", let me tell you that her faith as a Wiccan does not allow her to harm ANYONE or ANYTHING on this earth. Her practices include honouring and preserving nature and being respectful when it comes to the earth and its inhabitants. There is, of course, much more to this belief than I am mentioning here, but you get the drift. One of their laws include the "Three Fold Law" which states that anything that you are likely to do, will come back to you three times stronger. In other words if you are compassionate and respectful of others you will get the same back, three fold. On the other hand, if you disrespect someone or do them harm in anyway it will come back three fold and bite you on the backside (my expression, not hers).
It is sad to note that being a "Wiccan" to some, means devil worship, sacrificing babies and other ridiculous things. Unfortunately people that think this way get all their information from too many Hollywood movies. It is also unfortunate that once the Evans saw the halloween display (their children are not allowed to participate in halloween) and then found out she was a Wiccan, jumped to the conclusion that she was a Satanist. Not only did they assume she was a Satanist, but took the next step and labelled her entire family. Sara is the only Wiccan in her household. Her husband does not practice Wiccan ways, neither do her children, who have been exposed to all religions, just as mine have.
Sara is extremely familiar with the Bible, more so than some Christians I know. She does not disagree with its message. She is respectful of all religions and beliefs because that is her way. I am of the same school as Sara. Being raised in a home that practiced a few different beliefs, I was taught that you do not have to agree or even like the beliefs of others, HOWEVER, I was also taught that I MUST respect them. I was taught that vengeance was not mine to deal out; that would be looked after by the universe. You know the old saying "what goes around, comes around", well again that is the Three Fold Law that Sara follows and the Ten Fold Law that I follow.
There is obviously a lesson here. If you don't like how your neighbours conduct their lives, fine, you don't have to. But you have to respect their right to live that way. as long as they are not harming someone else, it's not your business. That brings me to my next comment. If they are beating their children or starving their pets, yes, it is your responsibility as a fellow human being, to contact the authorities so it can be dealt with. It is not up to you to deal with it, that is why we have the police, Children's Aid, the Humane Society etc.
If you do not understand your neighbour's beliefs, don't instantly condemn them. Try asking them about their beliefs. I'm sure they would be willing to explain them to you. If you do not want to ask, visit your local library and educate yourself. There are too many people in this world to expect everyone to agree with "your way" of life. My motto has always been "if it works for you, it benefits society and makes more understanding adults of our children, then do it."
There is one basic rule here that falls into all religions and beliefs; Treat everyone and everything the same way you would want to be treated. Not really that hard when you come to think of it, is it?
Dee Jessome-Freedman
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